A few weeks ago, I attended a local workshop for “'Minority' Women in Business". To be quite honest, I’m naturally not too keen on the whole “networking” (sometimes called ‘schmoozing’) thing. But I made a commitment to myself this summer to step out of my [not quite] comfort zone and get out and meet people. Hence the recent visits to a number of local workshops and events in Philadelphia – my current hometown.
(On another side note, why do they call it a comfort zone anyways? It’s soooo not comfortable, at all! But I digressed…)
You see, for years I daydreamed about being able to trip and fall get out of the bed whenever I wanted, work in my PJs, behind my computer without having to attend networking events, meet people in person and sip sparkling cider (I don’t like champagne) with my pinky in the air, etc…, while simultaneously making tons of cash. I’m talking bucko bucks!
Well, after spending lots of time and money on great training, after getting magnificent results AND a number of epic failures – I came to this shocking discovery: I’m 27 years old and I actually want to help people and make a difference in my community, my city – heck, the world. I want to help churches, ministries, as well as creatives (musicians, artists – the whole shebang!) in various sectors of influence, online and in-person.
So what do all of these sectors have in common? They all involve people… just as everything else does in life.
Here’s my confession: I believe that we often have dreams and set goals that in a nutshell are great. But at times they can be a camouflage that allows us to hide behind our fears so we don’t have to face them. It stinks to admit this, but my whole so-called dream of “sitting behind the computer, making gynourmous amounts of money without ever having to meet anyone, make a phone call, attend an event, blah blah” was a cover up for my shyness. There, I said it!
Am I saying that it’s bad to want to do this? Absolutely not! In fact, I know that some day, I will have the luxury of being to do that completely, but I believe God loves me too much to let me hide behind my insecurities. I am not destined to be a hermit. *sigh*
Sometimes, we can use the excuse of “working within our strengths” as a cover-up to not step up and conquer our fears.
You know the story of Moses, right? Mr. Let-My-People-Go or I’ll call locusts, frogs, flies, and a whole bunch of gross stuff from Heaven on your behind until you set my people free. Yeah, that 'guy'.
This amazing man was used mightily to set an entire nation free, with a staff, his sidekick/brother (Aaron) and a big God.
But let’s rewind the story a bit. Did you remember that he had a speech imped-dddddd-iment? And he used to sttt-ttt-t-t-t-utter? So when God told him, “Yo Moses, guess what, I want you to go to Pharaoh and tell him to let my people go. I can’t be letting my people be slaves for much longer. That’s not a good look son.”
Moses was like “True dat. I agree. But, um, you know I don’t like to sp-sp-sp-sp-eeeeak. I st-tu-utter? Can’t you use my brrrr-brr–oo-ther Aaron? His speech is tti-i-i-ight, alright and out of ssssi-i-ight.”
God was like “Word. That might be true. But I want to use you.”
Long [ghettofied-with-a hint-of-ebonics-Biblically-translated-story] short – Moses stepped up in spite of his fears and faced Pharaoh head on. The man with a speech impediment was used mightily in the area that was considered one of his greatest weaknesses – his speech. His voice was used as a mouthpiece for God and as a result, the Israelites were freed after having been enslaved for 400 years. The rest is history…literally!
Is it possible that some of your desires could be motivated by fear? Or even worse – pride? Are you using it as an excuse to not step up and be who you are called to be? I know I sometimes do. And if you want to join me in being 100% honest, you just might be doing the same in some areas of your life.
But, I could be wrong… You be the judge.
Don’t believe me? Read “The War Of Art” by Steven Pressfield. He says that sometimes we face the most resistance in the areas we were called to be successful in.
So if you’re facing quite the battle in certain areas of your life that you know you need to conquer, it might be a clue that you need to kick fear in-between his eyes, step on his big toe and do it anyways. I’m just sayin’…
But I digressed…sorta kinda, but not really…
You want to know about how in the world a 7-year old boy can get someone over $500,000 and you want to know it now!
Alright, alright! Keep reading….
At this “Minority Women in Business” Workshop, the speaker was a wonderful business man named Harold. He was high-larious by the way. No fake laughs were necessary for me. They were 100% organic chuckles!
He asked all of us to make a list of everyone we knew as a homework assignment. I’m talking EVERYone! Your doctor, dentist, cousins, uncles, nieces, nephews, bail bondsman, parole officer, your sister’s best friend’s baby daddy – you know, errrrrybody! Even your crazy uncle who gets drunk at the family gatherings!
“You just never know someone, who knows someone…” You know the saying, right?
To be honest, I thought “O…K…” I heard this tip many times, being a recovering semi-serial network marketer.
That was until he told us a story that blew me away. In fact, I still get chills and amazed just thinking about it.
You see, at one point in his life, Harold (like many of us have experienced – or might be facing right now) found himself unemployed after being laid-off from his job. Rather than wallowing in self pity, sitting on the floor in sackcloth and ashes mourning his loss, he pulled up his bootstraps and began doing freelance consulting. He figured it was a great way for him to get some sort of income until he found a great full-time job.
One day Harold was outside cleaning his yard. Shortly after, his neighbor’s 7-year old son came outside, saw what he was doing and asked if he could help.
Harold agreed. A little servant helper would be nice! Plus, he adored this boy!
So together they pulled up weeds, while the boy even accidentally pulled up a few flowers too! But Harold didn’t mind. They were enjoying one another’s company and having fun.
At some point this boy began to ask him some questions.
(Please Note: this is my interpretation of the story Harold told. So the dialogue is not 100% accurate. After all, um…I wasn’t there… But you’ll get the point with this illustration…)
Boy: So Mr. Harold, what kind of work do you do?
Harold: I do diversity training.
Boy: What’s that?
Harold: Uh, let me see. That’s where I help teach lots of people of all different colors, born in all different kinds of places how to be nice to each other and work together and help each other out. Sorta like we’re doing right now.
Boy: Coooooool!
Several hours later, several whacked weeds/flowers later, and after bushels of fun (pun intended! You KNOW I had to throw one in there…) it was time for the adorable boy to go home.
Later that evening, Harold gets a phone call.
Harold: Hello…?
Boy’s Mom: Hey Harold! First of all, I’d like to thank you for babysitting letting my son hang out with you today. He had so much fun! He’s been raving about you all evening!
Harold: No problem! I enjoyed it as much as he did!
Mom: That’s great. Really, thanks! He tells me that you do some sort of diversity training… Is that correct?
Harold: Why yes, I do…
Mom: That’s awesome. You see, my company is looking for someone to assist with training our expanding teams on a few projects. Would you be interested in working with us on something like that? I can set you up with an interview.
Harold: That would be great!
A few interviews and a few contracts later, this “lead” resulted in over $500,000 in contracts and business. Harold had so much money rolling in that he was able to secure over 30 reps who on average were being paid over $1,500 a day!
…And it all started with an act of kindness…and a 7-year old boy.
What is the lesson in this story? Sometimes we get so overwhelmed by starting a business or launching a new career that we forget the basics.
While it’s great to do your homework by researching your niche, studying the “competition”, doing the keyword research, setting up your website, getting your opt-in offer up, getting all of your social media pages designed and set up, outsourcing your weaknesses, etc… it can be overwhelming. Trust me, I have to remind myself to inhale and exhale quite frequently.
But in all of this, please don’t forget that sometimes just a simple act of kindness could lead you to your next breakthrough.
Dani Johnson says it best: “Money comes from people. If you can master people skills, you’ll be wildly successful.”
You can have the best website, do the best SEO research, have the perfect sales pages – the whole enchilada; but if you’re a jerk, it’ll catch up with you. You might have some success. Heck, you might have a lot of success. But will you be happy? Will you have peace?
It’s hard to enjoy your wealth when you know that most people hate your guts and hope you slip on a banana peel.
(Did I just say that? My bad…)
Please, remember this: in all your research, diligence and hard work, make sure to be kind, friendly and generous as often as possible. Yes – please work with excellence. But for goodness sakes – leave room for the Supernatural to intervene on your behalf.
I’m not trying to be all deep and religious, but I believe God wants to bless all of us abundantly. I heard many say that if you do what you can do, God will do what you can’t do.
Come on, don’t act like you don’t love hearing those stories about celebrities who were discovered while pumping gas (i.e. Toni Braxton and Chris Brown) by a stranger and then shot to fame. We all do.
I personally want to leave room for God to open doors for me that I couldn’t have opened myself. I don’t want to be able to track every single blessing that comes into my life. How exciting is that? If I could be the single cause of every positive effect in my life, I feel that I’d be acting as though I were the only key to all of my success.
I consider myself a small piece of a big puzzle that God has created.
(But that’s another story…)
Here’s the point: I’m not trying to get you to have a lottery mentality that success will fall out of the sky and smack you upside your head. However, I’m telling you from personal experience – both in my own life and members of my family, that one simple act of kindness or generosity (or great service) can open up doors no man can shut.
I can go on and on (even more than what I have already done, ha ha) – but I won’t. I have many stories of crazy stories about supernatural provision from resources I couldn’t have predicted. I will share more of them another time… relax. *smile*
And for goodness sake, sometimes you might have to get off your tush, step away from the computer and meet people… in real life… away from a monitor and keyboard!
As a part-time childcare provider, I know from experience that if the right people like you and they trust you (especially with their kids!) they will refer you over…and over! In fact, I haven’t had to look for a single childcare client in the past few years, even though I’ve been referred to probably over 20 families… all because the right people keep looking out for me and passing name around to strangers nice people.
Remember: in all (or at least most) of your “doing” – remember to be kind. (I still struggle with tech support people, so I’ll need y’all to pray for me to be kinder in that area). In all seriousness, you just never know what “Angel” you might be entertaining who could be holding the key to your next big door of success. *wink*
Here’s a nice video called “I Need An Angel” by Ruben Studdard that demonstrates this idea. I hope some of you enjoy it and find it inspirational. (It might be a little cheesy for some, but I’m a sucker for sappy songs. Also, please pardon the less-than-stellar quality, but for some reason it's removed from YouTube…
Whatever you do, don’t give up. God sees the good you do behind the scenes and He’ll bless you for it in due time – IF you don't quit. *smile*
***
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
A great article filled with excellent advice…thanks for sharing!
Thanks Denny!
Dear Thea,
What a way with words you have! Thanks for the inspiring story…Now does it mean I have to be nice to everybody? Just checking
Hey Michele, a.k.a. “The Flower Guru”. Thanks for the compliment
As for having to be nice to everybody, uh…. nope. Just me… Ha ha. (Just kidding… or am I????)
Great, great article Thea (many women in The Netherlands carry that name); you shared your heart and made the outcome so beuatifully! Thanks!
Thanks Olga
Really? I didn’t know my name was popular in the Netherlands? Who would’ve thunk it? I guess I have an extra reason to visit the Netherlands now!!
Thea, what's great about your writing is that you totally keep your voice. "High-larious?" "Gynormous?" Makes me feel as if you just walked in, found me at my computer, pulled up a chair and started chiding me. You know what else? You're right! While in my international business world, I'm perfectly comfortable … in this "helping people" business it's easier to hide behind my computer, but have deep, meaningful conversations with people all over the world. You out-ed me! (Thanks!)
Loved the story! Thanks for sharing!
Thea, you crack me up! And thanks for the great reminders to be nice. I needed that today, after dealing with a total jerk of a 'support" person yesterday!
Wow! There is so…. much wisdom in your blog. I really need to go back and read it again but meanwhile, I loved the story of how the 7 yr old helped Harold advance his career. Success comes in the most innocent and amazing packages. Thanks for becoming my friend on FB and your very creative message.